Star Trek or Walk

We took Brandon by Lee's work today to show off again. There is someone there, Wendy, who missed seeing Brandon on his first visit. Lee wanted Wendy to finally meet Brandon. Considering we bought Brandon's crib off of her, she is really eager to meet him. We got up to the 4th floor and once again Wendy is gone. Each time, we have missed her by a few minutes. Damn!

So far, Canada Day hang out at Spruce Grove is a GO! I am excited. Just to be around my friends, to take Brandon out and show him all the wild colours and fun. It will probably be too much for him. He will probably sleep through it. Hopefully not all of it. I hope there will be a place to change his bumn when I need to. Oh, what about feedings? I hope I will be able to feed him. If there isn't a place, then maybe I can take him back to the car once in a while and feed him there. I'll manage. There is always a way.

Since I can hear Brandon squaking in his crib, maybe I will take him for a walk. Yeah, it's a nice day out and I really don't want to watch stupid a Wesley Crusher romance.

Superman Returns

Superman Returns was awesome. I was quite impressed with Brian Singer's take on the Superman. He did a good job. As did his cast, the special effects and the musical score.

The opening credit sequence brought chills down my spine. I gripped Lee's hand tighter as that all too familiar Superman Theme came over the speakers. Ah, John Williams. The opening title sequence was just like the first two movies. Singer obviously was a big fan of the orginal films and wanted to pay tribute to them. He certainly did.

Brandon Routh is a dead on Christopher Reeve. Oh my God! The performance is perfect right down to the letter. Even down to the line "Statistally speaking, flying is the safest way to travel." Awesome!

Another superb performance turned in by a leading a lady that I didn't think would be great. Kate Bosworth was great. She was fiesty as Lois Lane should be, but also played her vulnerability with just the right amount of tenderness and sadness. Beautiful.

I won't share any spoilers here. Everyone must go see this film.

Brandon was co-operative for Lee and I to go and see this film. Lee's mom was able to get him to take the bottle and deal with a fussy baby. Yay for grandma! Maybe Lee and I can go to another movie. Pirates of the Caribbean? Hmmm? Ya, I think we will try for that one. But this time, I think we will have to see the film closer to home.

Date Night

I had to include this pic of Brandon. He looks so marvelous and mischevious. He-he!

Well, Brandon refused the bottle again, last night. Today is the big test. Lee and I go all the way to West Ed. to see Superman Returns. If Lee's mom can administer the bottle to Brandon, then I am home free. If not, then I am on a leash for the next few months. :( I would like to have a successful date night. Hopefully, Brandon will co-operate. This time we will make sure he is not ravenous before administering the bottle. Maybe he can be won over if he is hungry but, not crazy hungry.

Must go, Brandon needs a clean bumn and he would like to eat. Hopefully, I have something to give him. I barely pumped 2oz. this morning. Let's hope I have something left to give him.

Dreams

I thought I would open with some nice shots of Brandon. Cause he is having some fabulous dreams lately. He smiles quite a bit in his sleep. He also purses his lips. So I think he is dreaming of eating mostly. Hey, isn't eating a good time for anybody?

So I had dreams last night. One that I remember is my friends K & K got a cottage. It was given to them by one of their parents. So what did they do? They had a party of course. At the cottage. They were setting things up when P & L arrived. P was with G looking at a book, when I came up to them and gave them a girlie jumper that I accidentally bought for Brandon. P said thanks and, it turned out G could still wear it. Weird.

S was there with his girlfriend. They were standing by a wall and talking about something on the wall. I came up to them, to see how they were doing. I said something carelessly rude to S's girlfriend and walked away. S followed me. He politely said something that implied I was a bitch and then they both left.

Next thing I know I am at Warp 2. A woman is working behind the counter and it is some kind of double discount day. All the customers were girls buying Anime. Then I woke up.

Right now, Lee is out getting some supplies he needs for the spuce grove festival this weekend. I am here, listening to the monitor cause the youngin is asleep. No wait, I think I hear him fidgetting. Must go.

Yay for Swing!

Yes, Brandon is in his swing for the first time. He is passed out at the moment. He will wake once the swing stops. Damn! I better keep that thing going then.

Brandon has been extra fussy lately. Now I have found something that will pacify him.

Spoke too soon. Brandon is half way between sleeping and waking. Damn! Damn!

My friend Dan is coming over tonight. (Not to be confused with Toronto Dan.) I have not seen him in over a year. There are others I have not seen in a year. Such as Jordan. Hello? Let's make some plans!

Well, my boss is having a barbecue at this place this Saturday. The family will be going. Gotta keep up appearances. Sometimes I almost forget that I have a job. Sometimes that's a worry and sometimes that's nice.

Brandon't swing has stopped. He is still asleep. Score!

Brandon's Misery

Lee moved the crib into our bedroom today. Ah! I feel better.

Today, not so good. Brandon got innoculated today. Lee held him while he got his shots. Yes, shot! Three shots! My God! Once he got two of them, he was done. The third just put him over the edge. He hated getting the needles. He cried like we abandoned him. I don't like that cry. I just wanted to hold him close and console him. He did calm down and sleep a bit. He seemed okay for a bit. So far, Brandon's okay. *Sigh* And me too.

Tonight, I made plans to go out with my friend Ruth. We went to see "The Lake House". I was enjoying it. Until my phone rang. (Don't worry, my phone only vibrated.) Lee was told to call only in emergency. Which it was. As soon as I answered my phone, I could hear Brandon's frantic crying in the back ground. Lee told me to come home right away. Brandon would not take the bottle I left for him. (The bottle was pumped about late afternoon at about 4:30-5pm.) I left the theatre immedietly. I was home in 15min. Brandon was crying so hard he was actually crying tears. That part broke my heart. I tried to soothe him enough to get him to take the breast. He eventually took and boy did he eat. He was hungry.

Now, Brandon is comfortable. He has been sleeping comfortably on mom and now on daddy. Yeah, he's had a rough day. Being sharply poked 3 times and then being hungry for so long. Well, I'm not sure what is up with his refusal of the bottle. I hope it is just fussiness from the innoculation. If not, I will not be able to get away from him for long periods of time for the next 4 months. *sigh*

Paranoia

I am the most paranoid mother. Here is why:

Friday, we finally got a baby monitor that works. Compliments of Lee's work crew. So, we figured we would start Brandon in his own room. We finally got Brandon down for sleep around 12am. We put Brandon down in his crib and went to bed. I turned on the baby monitor and put next to me on my night table. Lee and I went to sleep. Well, Lee went to sleep, I could not. My heart rate was up and I was wide awake listening to the monitor for any sound. I could not relax to save my life. Any slight shuffle that I heard made my heart quicken faster. Brandon woke after about an hours rest. I took the first watch, since I was awake already. Once, he was asleep again, I put him down and went back to bed. This was around 2:15am. I still could not sleep. I laid awake listening to the monitor till about 3:30am. Brandon wanted to eat. After his late night snack, Lee put Brandon down in his bassinet. All because I could not relax that my son was in another room. What is wrong with me?

Brandon is asleep now. Or so I think. I am out in the dining room typing this post. I have the monitor with me. A moment ago I heard a sound like a creak of the floor or something. Now nothing. Nothing followed that first creak. I am just so scared for him. Why? Cause I...don't want him to be alone. I don't want him to cry and think I am not coming.

Sleep Terrors

Brandon was screaming in his sleep a couple days ago. I roused him from his sleep and he was suddenly fine. He was having a nightmare. Just a moment ago, he screamed in his sleep and I couldn't rouse him. Could he be having Sleep Terrors?

Rainy Day

Brandon has been one sleepy baby today. He wakes to poop, eat and be loved and touched and then wants to be put to sleep. Crazy! He has never been this tired before. Maybe it is just one of those days where you want to be warm, cuddled and sleepy. Brandon is taking full advantage of that. Good for him.

Unfortunatly, this rain has put a damper on my plans to finish my garden. I just got my seeds to my veggies and now it rains. Fuck a duck! Unless the temp dries the ground really well, the ground will be very...muddy. Uh! Hopefully I will be able to get my seeds in the ground in time. I would like to grow my veggies this year. The cost for fresh stuff is really high.

Brandon is awake. Must go.

Sand, Busdrivers and Hilary Swank

Dream 1: I was at this school and someone from work was there with me. We were going into the building, back from lunch break and I knew there was something sinister going on. Lorena (the work friend) was insistant that we go back. Fine. I agreed. But I knew it meant we were going to die.

For the afternoon, we had a choice of classes. The Sand class (which I knew what was going to happen) or the Surprise class where I had no idea what to expect there. I opted for the sand class.

The instructor came in, while I scoped for exits. The classroom had windows and they opened. Whew! I was okay. The instructor brought in a specimen. A shrunk human being in a jar of sand. He opened the jar and showed us the human, by cutting it open. He told everyone that we were going to be the next group of specimens. He was very calm, like this was all normal. He left the room, and the room started to fill with sand.

Once the instructor was gone, I opened a window and wrapped a cord around me from a machine and lowered myself down the window. I swear it looked like a long drop. But I reached the ground quite quickly. I was unwrapping the cord when a couple of teachers, by a set of doors noticed me and were calling for backup and started chasing me.

Since my running sucks in dreams, I opted to steal a car. First thing I found was a big honking truck. So I took off with that. Truck was slow though. I head the teachers call for the cops. They saw the truck. I knew I had to ditch the truck. I ditched it not far, in a residental zone and then stole a older car that just got parked in front of a corner church.

I drove all the way to the airport. I had my passport and had a ticket to go far away from here. I was going through all the airport security checks and was about to be going to the plane when someone escorted me back to the front where police were waiting. I caved in and said, "Fine. Book me! I'll do my time. But you have to know why." I was about to tell them about the sinister school when I woke up.

Dream 2: Far shorter than the previous. My brother, Pat, was a bus driver. It was the middle of winter. I was on the bus with him, asking for advice on a friendship matter when the bus started stalling and breaking down. He said to call mom for help. That was when I woke up.

Dream 3: Hilary Swank and I were on a sports team together. We had just won a sporting event of some kind. Not sure what. She also had short Tasha Yar hair. It looked...okay. We were leaving, heading towards the parking lot. She was wearing a dress. Not sure what I was wearing. Anyways, there was guy coming up to her. He and Hilary seemed to mend something from a fight they had and kissed and made up. I went off to start the car.

Since I didn't have a car, I had to steal one. I found one, next to a truck with someone in it. He insisted that one was a good choice. So I started it and realized I had to leave quickly. So I told Hilary to have the guy take her home instead and I was hottailing it out of there. I only drove a few blocks when I heard the police coming behind me. I knew I had to switch vehicles. So I turned off into a residental area and parked the car when I woke up.

Late Night

Mr. Cool Cat just... hanging out.

Brandon is finally asleep on daddy. He has been fussy all day. I think today was the first time I wanted to throttle him. So, instead I just put him down and ignored the wailing. I think he is tired. Maybe he'll sleep through the night, tonight. Yeah, and now I have jinxed myself.

Right at the moment, I am waiting for laundry to finish drying so I can go to bed. Yeah, feel the fun there.

Oh, Thanks for the compliments, Anonymous poster. But, who are you? You can put your name on your comments...if you want to tell me. That's all.

For those who have been wishing me pleasant dreams, I have continued to have disturbing dreams. I can't help where my brain goes in my subconscious. It just does what it does. Nothing involving death. Lots of running away. I just remember waking up and not liking what was going on. I'll tell you what, I will try to remeber them and write them down. Read at your own risk!

Dream

I had a dream last night, Toronto Ryan was dead. He apparently died in a car crash two years ago. Also, Brent committed suicide. It was very disturbing. I was sitting at a table in a cafeteria with Morgan and Matt and a few others and we were all reflecting. That is a dream I hope to not have again.

Stomach Troubles

I am being plagued by the same stomach troubles that landed me in the hospital last week. Not sure what triggered it this time. It is major pain in my upper stomach. It is serious enough pain that it makes me vomit. I've vomitted twice today. I hope I am not losing too many calories.

In good news, Brandon's rash seems to be clearing up. It no longer troubles him. I'm glad he is feeling much better.

Now, hopefully my stomach will calm down soon so I can get some sleep.

Baby my Baby

Brandon has a horrible ring rash around his collar. Not sure what it is. At first, we thought it was a heat rash but, we bathed him and kept him out of clothes and it still hasn't helped the rash to go down. If anything, it has gotten worse. The Doc suspects it is excema. She prescribed something stronger than a cordrozone, which is a mild steriod. The pharmacist told me about some warnings of this prescribed cream that might be very serious. I don't remember the name of it persay but it was not to be used on children under 2 years of age. Brandon is under 2 months. Dear God! Why would I use this on him at this age? Also, it can increase the risk of cancer and mess up his immune system. Great. So, I passed on the perscription...for now. I am soothing his irritation with Glaxal cream. My brother, who knows a little more about excema than I do, says soothe him with the cream as much he needs and wash the rash in the evening, before betime (which is when excema flares up the most) and just give more attention to him just to make him more comfortable. It is so hard to hear him cry, cause he is in pain and not be able to do anything about it. I can't stop crying.

Verdict on Formula

Man alive! Formula poo is stinky! Yesterday, Brandon had to have formula cause mom was too ill to feed him. Today he decided he had had enough of digesting the formula and gave it all up in 2 disgusting poos. I can still smell it. *shiver*

Sick Again

Yes, this time it is me. I caught the flu that has been going around. It hit me hard. It started with the cold chills. I hate this chills. When I have those, I just want to die. Nothing would make me warm. I laid in a bath with scalding hot water and I was barely warm enough. I got into bed and same thing, I just couldn't get warm. Then I got some Tylenol and passed out for all of 40min. That was how most my naps went yesterday. 20min here, 40min there. I was very restless. It wasn't until 10pm last night that I was able to get a good 4hours and sweat this bug out. Well, most of it anyways. My fever is down, my eyes don't hurt, but the ringing is still in my head.

Lee will be going to work at 4pm till midnight tonight. My mother in-law is coming over to help out with Brandon. I'm grateful for her assistance.

Right now Brandon is looking around the livingroom. He has stopped to focus on my picture of the Corrs. Now he's looking at the Cheat. Well, it looks like he is looking at those things.