A Break and Now a Change

I have a moment I feel like updating my blog. Brandon is watching some Thomas, which is about to end shortly and then I get to put him to bed, and Lyla was putting up a serious fuss and I just rocked her to sleep in her chair. But as I write this, she has just starting twitching. She will wake shortly. I just know it. *sigh* The perils of being a parent.

My only time to myself is when they both sleep and I can play "Fashion Solitaire" and "Mahjong". *double sigh* Is that what my life has come to? Playing games on my laptop? I guess so. I haven't had a good listen of my ipod lately. I have so much new music I haven't listened to it thouroughly. I need to catch up.

With my body being broken so much these days, I have started to see a massage therapist. I always feel relaxed when she works on my muscles. I am not very tense at all. I am glad she does most of the talking. I am an agitated talker and our sessions would do me little good. I have also starting swimming again. I missed it. My butt has been feeling the most sore since I started exercising. I guess i haven't been using that muscle in awhile. No kidding.

She hasn't stirred. Oh good.

The video is almost finished. The music video is next. Which one is it? Nope, one more story. Oh good.

I took a look at myself, in the mirror today. Man am I fat. Seriously, when did I get so fat. I feel so wide. I need to lose this weight. I need to get a hold on my eating habits. I need to control my portions and not eat so much. I keep thinking, cause I am still eating for two, that I can just stuff my face. But who the hell is going to hire me while I am this ugly, fat chick? I wouldn't. I bet my friends don't even like me anymore. How can they look at me? It is the most depressing thing, to feel the dragging weight of my ass when I stand up.

Okay, that was my indulging my depression. Now, what I am going to do about it? Well, I am already excerising. That is good. I should just keep that up. Now, what should I be eating? I just need to get control of what I eat. Starting now.

Sci-fi Motherhood

I have not blogged in a while. When I blog, I like to get a good half hour to myself and really focus on putting together an entry. Lately, with less time for myself, I find I want to spend time not doing anything. I mostly just plug my Ipod in and just zone out. I am able to take baths again and that is my sactuatary now. When Lee and the kids let me have an hour to myself, I take a bath and just plug my ears with my music. *sigh* For me, there ain't nothing better. Thank you Christina Aguilera.

One thing I am trying to do is catch up on some TV. I have finally seen Battlestar Gallactica: Razor and all the webisodes. I am eagerly anticipating the new and final season which will be starting in April. (Hopefully, what with writer's strike and all.) The best damn TV on TV. Fuckin' A!

Lee and I have started the new season of Torchwood. What the fuck is with everyone on that show being bi-sexual? Seriously! Everybody? The extreme sexual ineundo is sometimes amusing and sometimes over the top. *giggle* I must say, I was delightfully surprised when I saw someone who was Buffy-Alumni in the first episode. I won't say who. Every Buffy fan should watch this show. Not just for the guest appearance, but because it is awesome.

You know, I have not felt this positive about stuff in a long time. Mostly it is my finances that will be make me depressed and miserable. (Isn't it like that for everyone though?) Since I am no longer pregnant and I am back to being a co-parent I have re-discovered that I love being a parent. I missed all that time with Brandon. At least I can make up for it now. One of the things I missed was putting him to bed. I missed that quite a bit. I think he did too. Bedtime. Who would've thought something so...simple would bring me the most joy.

My World Has Been Invaded By Pink

Well, I am at home with my husband and daughter. Ah! I am so glad the pregnancy is over. And in the end, it was worth it. The pay off is great. She is great. She gets cuter everyday. Is that possible? She came into the world at just 5lbs. and 6oz. Her lungs work great. The only issue is she has hyper-extended knees and her hips are misaligned. But that is all correctable. All in all, everything is better than the alternative. I am so glad it worked out this way.

We have our first appointment with the orthopedic specialist tomorrow. I am a little anxioius. But I know everything will work out. I can just feel it. Her knees and getting straighter each day. She is getting stronger.

Now, I have a hurricane (my son) and a sloth (my daughter). Whenever Lyla cries, Brandon says `Yaya!` and comes over to check on her. He uses gentle hands to stroke her and smothers her with kisses. Or he would if he could. We are doing our best to spend equal time with each child. Now, I am able to spend more time with Brandon and I want to take advantage of that time as much as possible. And enjoy the sleeping sloth too. Cause God knows, that will not last forever.

I will be 29 on Friday. I can`t believe it. I can`t believe I will be 29. Dear God! I am...aging. I feel weird about this now. Hmmm... I am 29 and I not sure about my life. Great. That`s fucking fantastic!

Right now, Lee is getting lunch and I will finish putting laundry away.

Finally, An Update!

Well, I am over the stomache flu. Just so you know. But I did catch it again. On Saturday morning of the Solstice party. I hate being pregnant with the stomache flu. This pregnancy sucks! It's not like I have been stuffing my face with Taco Bell or anything. I am eating lots of salads and soups and lots of meat off the bone. Hmmm...not sure about that one. But I am fairly healty compared to some. I would think. God-damn gastro-intestinal virus!

Anyways, Christmas was good. Brandon got spoiled. Duh! But he did not want to open any presents. Everyone opened something for him. He didn't unwrap the boxes, but he wanted to the toy inside. Typical.

Brandon is not a big fan of co-operating these days. He is trying to exert his independence but saying "No" or "Not". Even though daycare and bedtime are not optional, he still tries. Well, if you had the amount of toys and fun stuff to do at home that Brandon does, you would want to stay home too.

The new baby's birthdat is impending. I believe I have lost my muccus plug and I have started having some Braxton Hicks contractions as well as increased vaginal and pelvic pressure. You know when the uteris tightens, you are in trouble. Discomfort is a larger part of my day right now. I just want this to be over and I want to hold my baby. *sigh* I know NOW, is not the best time, but sooner would be okay with me. I don`t think I can go another 28 days. I am an impatient person. I want to meet my baby NOW! or sooner please.

Well, I finally took the career aptitude tests and....it seems I am perfect for a career in accounting and banking. Fuck! I don`t want to do that! Damn book tested my skills, not my interests. Fuck! What a waste. Well, in the late spring I will endeavor to meet with a career counsellor and take a look at all my options. I feel more confused than ever. What the crap!

Saw the movie Juno on Monday. What a fabulous film. Ellen Page, as the lead, is phenomenal. She is amazing. Nobody phones in a performance on that movie. The dialogue is fantastic. And it is funny. I almost laughed. Seriously. And I don`t laugh. I recommend to anyone this movie to everyone. You will not have wasted 2 hours.

That`s about it. I am going to call my Doctor now and tell her all my pre-labour symptoms.