A Break and Now a Change

I have a moment I feel like updating my blog. Brandon is watching some Thomas, which is about to end shortly and then I get to put him to bed, and Lyla was putting up a serious fuss and I just rocked her to sleep in her chair. But as I write this, she has just starting twitching. She will wake shortly. I just know it. *sigh* The perils of being a parent.

My only time to myself is when they both sleep and I can play "Fashion Solitaire" and "Mahjong". *double sigh* Is that what my life has come to? Playing games on my laptop? I guess so. I haven't had a good listen of my ipod lately. I have so much new music I haven't listened to it thouroughly. I need to catch up.

With my body being broken so much these days, I have started to see a massage therapist. I always feel relaxed when she works on my muscles. I am not very tense at all. I am glad she does most of the talking. I am an agitated talker and our sessions would do me little good. I have also starting swimming again. I missed it. My butt has been feeling the most sore since I started exercising. I guess i haven't been using that muscle in awhile. No kidding.

She hasn't stirred. Oh good.

The video is almost finished. The music video is next. Which one is it? Nope, one more story. Oh good.

I took a look at myself, in the mirror today. Man am I fat. Seriously, when did I get so fat. I feel so wide. I need to lose this weight. I need to get a hold on my eating habits. I need to control my portions and not eat so much. I keep thinking, cause I am still eating for two, that I can just stuff my face. But who the hell is going to hire me while I am this ugly, fat chick? I wouldn't. I bet my friends don't even like me anymore. How can they look at me? It is the most depressing thing, to feel the dragging weight of my ass when I stand up.

Okay, that was my indulging my depression. Now, what I am going to do about it? Well, I am already excerising. That is good. I should just keep that up. Now, what should I be eating? I just need to get control of what I eat. Starting now.