Thanks for the positive comments back. I appreciate that. I love you too!
I think where that self loathing came from - Facebook! Yeah, crappy fucking Facebook! I got in touch with some old friends of mine - via Facebook of course. Some polite correspondence was exchanged and I even opened up about my ordeal to one of these people. I thought a connection was re-established. Boy, was I fucking wrong!
I asked each "friend" if they wanted to have a coffee or meet and do something. Yeah, there friendship had a boundry. I crossed it. They want nothing to do with me apparently. Once the question was asked, they did not write back. Nor has a friend request been offered.
So, I took the risk and threw the olive branch out there. And I took it as a form of rejection rather than a failing on their part. I know I am a good person and some people like me! Screw this self examination of whether I am worth it or not. Fuck it! I know who is important to me. I know who cares about me.
At this point, I am contemplating getting off Facebook just cause it is an incredible waste of time suckage. And if I want people to know what is going on with me, I'l just do what I did before Facebook. Call or send a massive email. I was done before, it can be done again.
Say you're happy now - Once more with Feeling
About Me
Blogs I Read
- All About Brandon
- Allan's Space
- Argent Bear
- Charmlily
- Cochroach
- Des Shaw
- Dorklord
- Dr. Teeth
- Dragon Girl
- Drama Boy
- Draya's Diary
- Jago
- Jugglepants
- Lee Conrad
- Morgoid
- Nezbitt
- Ninedoors
- Pat the Hat
- Paul's Blog
- Peablog
- Prime Pete
- Rats Underground
- Schwartzee
- SciFi.com
- Shiny Gal
- Silly Dan
- Tales of the Cryptic
- The Adventurer's Backpack
- Theatre Mommy
- Worst Ninja
- YA Generric Blog
2 comments:
This is the problem with facebook, livejournal, whatever. Many of the people I could add there are better described as "acquaintances" or "people who were my friends back when we went to school together." My livejournal "friends" don't even reach that level. Do you think the overuse of the word "friend" online muddles the issues in our actual friendships?
Anyway, I hope you are feeling better now.
Mary.
After leaving facebook myself I left you a few private emails. Did you get them? I thought that since I didn't get any responses I thought that either you were busy with the terrible ordeal you're going through or you didn't really want to contact me anymore or both.
You're not alone with the insecurity. I felt that way too and I left facebook. Trying to reach out to people again made me feel very awkward and I overanalyzed things I may have said that perhaps put people off or who knows. Just one big question mark.
Regardless of whether or not you want to be my friend, I wish you well. I'm glad to have known you.
Laura
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