Bad

Well just ignore my previous post. Yesterday was a bad day. Lots of crying and feeling sorry for myself. And Lee too. Lee was crying and it got so bad we were holding each other and sobbing into each others shirts. Lee pleaded he would never leave me. It was as cheesy as a drama on TV. That must be where those writers get that stuff.

I also had a vivid but short dream. I was working in a bar again. I was cleaning glasses and getting the garnishes and liquor ready. All I knew, it felt good to be there again. My bitch of a boss, Genie, was gone. Lucille was gone also. She retired, cause she had cancer. And Sharon got fired cause she was drinking on the job. Surprise, surprise. It was Sunday morning and like normal. Bud came in for his breakfast. It felt good to see him again. If only on an imaginary basis. Then the dream turned into a school room. There was a bunch of us there talking about what we were going to do with the pteradactyl. Yes, we had one chained up in the room. All of a sudden, the creature became loose and started attacking everyone. I managed to escape the room and finally find my way through the building. I got out on one of the side entrances. I came around to the front and 2 ladies were entering on business. I tried to call out to the them, but they couldn't hear me. They entered anyways. So much for them. So I decided to run home. I apparently lived in a nice pleasant small town. So I didn't live far. I crossed a few streets and ran by a few houses and was there. I apparently also had a little sister too. She was playing in the front yard. Her name was Casey. Then I asked if it was okay for her to playing with the thing she was playing with. Yeah, I don't remember what it was. Then I woke up. I told Lee the dream. Now he wants to name our kid Casey. And all I think about is "Casey at the Bat".

So, T called yesterday. It was nice to talk to her. She managed to distract me from my problems. Damn! I like to focus on my pain. That's not fair. My hormones aren't supposed to fluctuate. I wish I could dwell longer. I'm never depressed enough anymore. It's too easy to be happy.