Confessions of a Happy Day

Today was a good day overall. Today was D's 2nd birthday. I hope she had a good day. She seemed to be busy, opening presents, going off and playing over here and there, then wanting to eat and then play some more. I hope it wasn't all just a blur.

I started to get my usual chest pains in the evening. Still not sure what causes those. I know they are not a heartattack. (Went to the hospital, one time, to find out.) I know, I should probably go see my doctor about it. Lee seems to think it is dairy related. I sure hope not. I love cream and cheese. I don't know if I could give that up. But, you see, sometimes I do get pain from eating those things. It is only sometimes. It might be the combination. Maybe something else I eat with it triggers the pain. Oh who knows! Someday I will find out.

Tomorrow is another study day. Not really looking forward to it, surprisingly. I don't feel like studying. (Chest pains will do that to you.)

I finally used up the itunes card I got for my birthday. I purchased some music videos and some soundtracks. I am quite pleased with my purchases. I dowloaded the Johnny Cash video with all the celebs we know and love, Beck's "Loser" and A-ha's "Take on Me". The soundtracks I downloaded are Blood and Chocolate and Over the Hedge. A shame, most of the songs from Blood and Chocolate are not on the soundtrack. They will be releasing another soundtrack soon. Hopefully the songs from the movie will be on that one. Over the Hedge has songs by Ben Folds on it. Who would think? But awesome.

I have something to say. I have made mistakes. I am far from perfect. I know people who have done things, that I don't approve of. There are those who talk, behind peoples backs. And we all think, they don't know what they say. And I am just as guilty of talking about people behind their backs. And openly sharing my disapproval. Well, who the fuck am I? Who am I to judge and critisize others? I am not a better human being. Who am I to judge based on my standards? What the fuck do my standards mean to anyone else? I am not better. Who am I to say that someone else is wrong, because something they do goes against my sensibilities? We are all human. We all make mistakes. Cause I have made a big one. I just want to say "I am sorry." No excuses. No Buts. No promises. Just, "I am sorry."