A Sucker Born

(Warning: The following tale has extreme profanity.)

The batteries in my calculator have died. I bought them back in September. My batteries have died 5 months after their purchase. What the fuck? How did I get short-term batteries? Double AA's last longer then these tiny shit batteries! I am so pissed.

Well, I need my calculator for my exam and, I might as well have a useful one, while I study. So I went out to get new batteries this evening. I went to the TSCC at the mall. (The same exact store I bought the previous replacement batteries.) I picked up 2 new batteries and just before I paid for them, the clerk asked if I wanted to purchase a warranty on the batteries. Why the fuck would I do that? They are batteries! Five-dollar fucking batteries! Why would anybody buy a warranty on five-dollar fucking batteries? It doesn't make any sense. They are so fucking cheap, why would anyone buy a warranty?

You know, this is the second time, in less than half a year, that I am buying these stupid fucking batteries. The original batteries, that came with the calculator, lasted over two years. How the fuck did I get duds? What the fuck?

I was offered to purchase the warranty, when I bought the last two. I declined it then. Because good sense told me to save $3.00 and not waste it on a stupid fucking warranty for $5.00 batteries.

So, I purchased the warranty. Because the last batteries I bought before, died before their time. I bought a $1.50 warranty on $5.00 batteries. I am covered, if my batteries die within 3 years, I get free replacement. Oh yay. And I bet you all the tea in China, these batteries will not fail in 3 years. And I seriously do not need anymore tea. My cupboard is full.