Screwed to the Bone

Fuck payoffs and fuck everything! We get home from buying groceries this morning and I hear someone leaving a message. It's Erica. Our "supposed to be" dayhome provider. I picked up the phone while she was leaving a message. She started off with "I am sorry. I don't know how to tell you this..." Immedietly, I know something is wrong. I know she is going to tell me something I won't like. Why did she even being the conversation with this phrase? It's so fucking obvious what she is about to say.

She tells me that she can no longer take Brandon in April. She already has 2 kids she is looking after. She is getting a 3rd (repeat customer) to come into her home. She "feels" adding one more temporarily is too many for her to take care of. Well, la de fuckin' da! You decide tell me this 1 week before I return to work? What the fuck am I supposed to do? She verbally agreed, everything was cool and good to go, a week ago. In that time she accepts another kid. Well, I guess they must've paid her on the spot. Otherwise, I think she is completely fucking insiderate. No, I think she is inconsiderate regardless.

It is incovientent and I am quite pissed off, but honestly, I don't think I would be As upset if we hadn't double checked with her a week ago and everything was still good to go. No contract was signed and no money was exchanged, I admit. But, her verbal agreement should have held.

I feel very screwed. I know shit happens for a reason. But with all the debt crap we are going through, I was secure, in my mind, we had a good provider in place for Brandon. And now I just feel so screwed.